When information broke that Sean “Diddy” Combs was discovered responsible of transportation to interact in prostitution however not responsible of intercourse trafficking and racketeering conspiracy, I knew precisely how this could play out. Some folks would seize onto that partial verdict like a lifeline, ignoring each piece of fact we’ve seen and heard about who this man is and what he’s carried out.
Right here’s what I do know: no matter what the prosecution charged, we noticed violence with our personal eyes. Final 12 months, from a 2016 surveillance video, we noticed a person chase down, assault, and terrorize a lady. We noticed him attempt to spin it. We noticed him difficulty a hole apology, not one rooted in actual accountability however in disaster PR and harm management.
What I additionally know is that our authorized system is by no means the ultimate phrase on whether or not one thing occurred. Courtrooms are about what could be confirmed beneath slim burdens of proof. However life, actual life, shouldn’t be at all times that neat. Some truths are so clear they don’t want a courtroom to substantiate them.
This isn’t new. Again and again, we watch highly effective males with cash and nostalgia hooked up to their names dodge actual accountability as a result of too many individuals would relatively shield a picture than shield actual folks from hurt. It occurred with R. Kelly. It occurred with Invoice Cosby. It occurs with Chris Brown. It’s taking place now with Diddy. And if we’re sincere, no verdict—not even a totally responsible one on each cost—would change the minds of some of us as long as they like the person’s music, the vibe, the reminiscences hooked up to a selected music.
We have to sit with how harmful that’s. We will’t preserve screaming “Shield Black ladies!” on our timelines whereas holding a everlasting “However not if I like his album” clause in our hearts. It doesn’t work that means. It shouldn’t. And but it does — as a result of this sample is not only about superstar. It’s about what we’ve been taught to guard in any respect prices: the male ego, energy, and picture.
In the meantime, Black ladies and ladies — and anybody else who dares arise and say “He damage me” — are left to fend for themselves. To hold the burden of being believed or disbelieved. To listen to folks say, “Effectively, they need to’ve recognized what they have been signing up for.” To look at entire communities twist themselves into ethical pretzels to keep away from dealing with the reality that generally the folks we like to cheer for are the identical folks destroying lives behind closed doorways — or, on this case, on digital camera.
As an lawyer, I take difficulty with what the prosecution charged on this case. Intercourse trafficking costs are notoriously exhausting to show, particularly towards folks of appreciable wealth who’ve spent a long time mastering the artwork of believable deniability. It issues that we preserve preventing for a system that works. However we are able to’t let the courtroom be our solely measure of the reality. We will’t let the system’s failures dictate what we all know in our bones to be actual.
As a result of the very fact is, the authorized system fails survivors each single day. And when the system does come by — when there’s a video, when there’s a confession, when there’s a responsible plea, too many individuals nonetheless shut their eyes and press play on the identical previous songs.
I see folks say, “Effectively, everyone makes errors,” as if what we watched was a minor slip-up or an aberration of character, and never a sample of calculated hurt. I see folks say, “He apologized,” as if that insult of an apology did something to restore what he brought on. I see folks say, “He wasn’t discovered responsible of intercourse trafficking, so it should not be true,” as if the reality begins and ends with a technicality in a courtroom.
We have to inform the reality about how exhausting it’s to look at Black ladies and ladies and queer folks be damage many times by the identical sort of man — solely to see our personal folks run to guard him. To behave like their empire issues greater than our humanity. To behave just like the vibes are price greater than our security.
It shouldn’t be this fashion. However the line we draw within the sand is ours alone to carry. So let me be clear about mine: Diddy won’t ever get one other greenback, one other stream, one other ounce of respect from me. Not due to what he was charged with, however due to what he did. Due to what I noticed. As a result of generally the reality is plain — if we’re courageous sufficient to maintain our eyes open.
And to the folks he’s harmed — named and unnamed, recognized and unknown — I see you. I imagine you. I ship you my love and my solidarity. I do know what it means to hold the burden of telling your fact, solely to look at folks fake they didn’t hear it. You aren’t alone. You aren’t invisible — to not me. To not anybody prepared to face on what they know is correct.
To everybody nonetheless deciding what they’ll do with this: What you do is yours to personal. What you’ll be able to reside with is yours to hold. What your family and friends see after they watch you excuse this man—or any man like him—is as much as you.
As for me and my North Star? It’s easy. I don’t want a courtroom to inform me what I do know. I don’t want a responsible verdict to validate what my eyes and my intestine have already confirmed. I select to face on the aspect of the folks he damage. I select to imagine what I noticed. I select to let my values — not nostalgia or a playlist — information me.
At all times and eternally, it’s a no. And it’ll stay a no. As a result of our neighborhood deserves higher than this limitless cycle of excuses and safety for violent males. Black ladies and ladies deserve higher. Survivors deserve higher. And possibly if sufficient of us maintain that line, at some point we’ll truly see the world mirror it too.
Preston Mitchum is an lawyer, author, and advocate whose work focuses on the intersections of racial justice, gender fairness, and LGBTQ+ rights. He’s the Founding father of PDM Consulting and a trusted voice on regulation, tradition, and accountability.
SEE ALSO:
Why Sean Combs Was By no means Going To Be Absolutely Held Accountable [Op-Ed]
Diddy Please: Sure, You’re A Bozo For Cheering For Sean Combs
What We Noticed On Video Issues Extra Than The Sean Combs Verdict
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