I avoided instantly writing in regards to the picture of President Obama chatting with Trump in a relaxed, virtually playful method at President Carter’s funeral. However the second caught with me. It was triggering. As a Black man, I couldn’t reconcile how snug the 2 appeared, given the depths of alienation, racism, and xenophobia Trump has wielded towards folks of shade.
Seeing our first Black president — comfortable with a person who personifies a lot hurt felt like a betrayal. One thing in me cracked.
After all, anybody acquainted with Washington D.C.’s political tradition is aware of the reality: politics is a recreation. After 5 p.m., it’s not unusual to search out right-leaning and left-leaning politicians sharing laughs at native watering holes. The general public battles could also be actual, however the relationships hardly ever get too private.
However with Trump, it all the time feels private. His insurance policies, rhetoric, and sheer disdain for marginalized teams hit in a different way. They all the time do. And once I noticed Obama not solely acknowledge Trump however seem cordial, I couldn’t assist however ask: Was Obama taking part in in our faces, or, merely being the consummate gentleman given the optics?
Optics, Diplomacy, and the Entice of Respectability
Seating charts and decorum are the superficial causes provided to elucidate Obama’s engagement with Trump. Some argue he had no selection—he would have been pilloried by the media had he ignored Trump. However others didn’t interact. George W. Bush walked in and selected to not entertain Trump. Did his white privilege grant him that choice? Or was it merely a matter of selection?
Typically heralded for his dignity and style beneath hearth, Obama persistently opts for diplomacy over confrontation. However in moments like this, I’m wondering: who does this diplomacy in the end serve?
Obama has typically been criticized for navigating the treacherous waters of respectability politics. As the primary Black president, he had no selection however to seem “good” in a world able to scrutinize him. However this adherence to dignity, grace, and palatability has alienated elements of the Black neighborhood. It started in workplace when he declared, “I’m America’s president, not Black America’s president.” He proved this by way of his Supreme Courtroom appointments, his insurance policies, and the best way he publicly admonished Black males.
Respectability politics, as a framework, is rooted in survival. Coined by historian Evelyn Brooks Higginbotham, the phrase describes how Black Individuals within the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries adopted behaviors deemed “respectable” by white society to problem stereotypes and demand civil rights. It was a survival technique within the face of Jim Crow violence.
However students like Tressie McMillan Cottom and Brittney Cooper argue that respectability politics reinforces white supremacy, demanding that Black folks conform to oppressive requirements for a sliver of acceptance.
In Obama’s case, his mild pores and skin privilege could have performed a job in his skill to navigate these politics. Lighter-skinned Black folks have traditionally been afforded extra proximity to energy and acceptance inside white-dominated areas. Obama’s skill to embody respectability was doubtless made simpler by this privilege. However did his adherence to those politics come at a price? Did it dilute his skill to completely characterize and combat for Black America?
The Burden of Grace Beneath Fireplace
Obama’s insistence on taking part in the lengthy recreation — remaining sleek and dignified even within the face of blatant disrespect — feels more and more hole. The fact is, Trump’s politics are private. Each phrase he utters reinforces techniques that hurt folks like me, my household, and my neighborhood. Obama’s determination to interact Trump, even for a second, appears like a slap within the face to these of us who’ve borne the brunt of Trumpism.
But, as triggering because the picture of Obama and Trump was, it’s equally telling that Michelle Obama selected to not attend—and has opted out of attending the inauguration on Dr. Martin Luther King’s birthday. Whereas Barack bore the brunt of public scrutiny for the encounter, Michelle’s absence speaks volumes. She has all the time been unapologetic in her rejection of performative respectability. Her refusal to be a part of that tableau felt like a quiet resistance — a reminder that some battles don’t require our participation.
Who Does Respectability Serve?
Obama is beloved by many as a trailblazer and image of Black excellence. However moments like these remind us of the constraints of his management, notably in how he engaged—or failed to interact—with the Black neighborhood. Respectability politics could have helped him survive eight years in workplace, however at what price?
As a Black man sitting in Rockefeller Heart getting my footwear shined, trying as much as see the person I like laughing with probably the most dangerous people to occupy the White Home, I felt a profound disappointment. Obama’s dignity has typically been his power, however on this second, it felt like a weak spot.
Maybe it’s time to ask: does respectability nonetheless serve us as a neighborhood? Or is it merely a relic of white supremacy that forces us to play a recreation that was by no means designed for us to win?