Shannon Sharpe is within the headlines, and this time it’s not due to his booming giggle or sports activities takes on ‘Membership Shay Shay.’
The Corridor of Fame tight finish turned sports activities media determine—as soon as the co-host of Undisputed with Skip Bayless and, till just lately, a distinguished voice on ESPN’s First Take—is now going through a $50 million lawsuit from a 19-year-old girl who alleges sexual assault and battery. In response to the allegations, Sharpe has quickly stepped away from his ESPN position. And whereas the authorized case unfolds, there’s a deeper, extra uncomfortable dialog we have to have. As a result of what’s “authorized” isn’t all the time ethical. And what we permit says all the things about what—and who—we’re keen to guard.
First, the details. The civil go well with alleges that Sharpe engaged in coercive, degrading conduct with a younger girl lower than half his age. Not solely does the lawsuit embrace allegations of sexual assault, however it additionally reveals deeply inappropriate, racially charged exchanges between Sharpe and the younger girl. In keeping with textual content messages launched, she made feedback about eager to have his “Black infants,” a disturbing instance of race play and fetishization. And but, he nonetheless engaged. As an alternative of shutting it down or stepping away, he selected to lean in. That alone ought to’ve been a flag — not only for him, however for everybody round him. As a result of when race is fetishized in sexual dynamics, particularly throughout important age and energy gaps, the hurt isn’t simply private—it’s political.
Some on social media have rushed to defend Sharpe by emphasizing that the younger girl is of authorized age. But when the one justification for a 54-year-old man’s conduct is that it doesn’t violate the regulation, then the ethical basis of that protection is already collapsing underneath its personal weight.
This isn’t a authorized debate. It’s an ethical one. It’s about energy. It’s about manipulation. And it’s concerning the methods we excuse predatory conduct so long as the person is wealthy, well-known, or charming sufficient to distract us.
A 19-year-old could also be legally an grownup, however she is barely out of highschool. She remains to be shaping her identification, studying boundaries, and determining her price in a world that continually devalues ladies and ladies. The science backs this up: the human mind, notably the prefrontal cortex that governs decision-making and impulse management, doesn’t totally develop till round age 25. However even when it did, that also wouldn’t make this okay.
Shannon Sharpe has grownup daughters of their 30s. Take into consideration that. After which ask: if a 54-year-old man pursued certainly one of his daughters when she was 19, would he be wonderful with it? Would you?
It’s simple to cheer Sharpe on for “bagging” somebody three many years youthful when it’s not your daughter, sister, cousin, or niece. However it’s additionally wildly hypocritical. A number of the identical males defending this are the identical ones who’d burn the world down if their very own daughter got here dwelling speaking a few man in his 50s or 40s or 30s or relationship in any respect. Let’s cease pretending we don’t see the double normal.
These are additionally the identical males who degrade ladies for having OnlyFans—an internet subscription platform that permits folks to share grownup content material instantly with paying subscribers—however will flip round and spend hire cash at strip golf equipment or slide into DMs begging for consideration. The identical males who decide her for the way she makes a residing are those fueling the demand.
This isn’t nearly Shannon Sharpe. That is about what number of males like him exist in our communities. In our circles. At our church buildings. In our group chats. Males who abuse energy dynamics and get celebrated for it. Males who use wealth, age, or standing to coerce affection, then cover behind authorized definitions of consent when the hurt turns into public.
It’s additionally necessary to deal with a frequent deflection: the declare that Black folks don’t maintain white males to the identical normal in circumstances like this. That assertion is just not correct. The #MeToo motion itself was sparked by public allegations towards Harvey Weinstein, a white man who was finally convicted after many years of reported sexual violence. Leonardo DiCaprio has confronted sustained public criticism for his sample of relationship ladies considerably youthful than him, all underneath the age of 25. Russell Model is at present underneath investigation following a number of allegations of sexual misconduct. In different phrases, white males have been, and proceed to be, publicly scrutinized and held accountable for comparable conduct by Black folks even when not by case regulation..
The problem isn’t that Black males are unfairly criticized—it’s that too many people are uncomfortable holding Black males accountable once they trigger hurt. And that’s what makes it simpler for people like Invoice Cosby, R. Kelly, Russell Simmons, and others to get away with sexual violence for many years. It’s not that nobody knew. It’s that too many individuals refused to imagine—or just didn’t care.
Think about the general public response to the latest scenario involving Draya Michele, a 39-year-old girl, and Jalen Inexperienced, a 23-year-old NBA participant, after information emerged that she was pregnant. The response was swift: social media was flooded with commentary questioning the age hole, and lots of raised considerations about grooming and energy dynamics. Individuals requested—rightfully—how the response may differ if the roles have been reversed. And that’s exactly the purpose: important age and energy disparities ought to increase considerations, no matter gender. When a person with way more life expertise, affect, and entry engages with somebody simply getting into maturity, it warrants scrutiny. So why is it reframed as an achievement or “relationship objectives” when the older celebration is a person?
We’ve got to assume extra critically about what we condone underneath the banner of maturity. Simply because somebody is legally allowed to consent doesn’t imply they’re in an equal place to take action. Energy imbalances matter. Age gaps matter. Intentions matter — particularly when the older individual holds extra social, monetary, and emotional leverage.
And I actually hope persons are paying consideration—not simply to what’s being stated in headlines or Threads, however in their very own lives. I hope they’re listening to what’s being stated in barbershops, at brunch tables, on FaceTime calls. As a result of the protection of predatory conduct doesn’t simply occur out loud; it occurs in silence too.
Predators don’t thrive as a result of they’re geniuses. They thrive as a result of folks shield them. They get away with it as a result of we glance away. As a result of we keep quiet. As a result of we inform ourselves it’s not that dangerous. Till it’s.
So no, this isn’t nearly Shannon Sharpe. It’s a few tradition that has made it far too simple for males to use youthful ladies and name it recreation. It’s a few tradition that refuses to acknowledge hurt except it ends in legal conviction. And it’s about whether or not we’re keen to maintain letting “authorized” be the ground when “moral” ought to be the usual.
Discomfort within the face of those truths isn’t solely anticipated—it’s essential. It ought to immediate reflection, accountability, and a deeper reckoning with the cultural norms we’ve lengthy accepted. As a result of if we fail to confront these patterns now, we are going to proceed to see them repeat. Totally different names, identical dynamics. And with each excuse we make, we ship a transparent message to survivors: that their ache is the price of our silence. It ought to by no means be.
It’s not. And it by no means ought to have been.
Preston Mitchum is the founding father of PDM Consulting, based mostly in Washington, DC. His work focuses on racial justice, gender fairness, LGBTQ+ liberation, and the pursuit of insurance policies that transfer past symbolism to create lasting change.
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