Shannon Sharpe is within the headlines, and this time it’s not due to his booming giggle or sports activities takes on ‘Membership Shay Shay.’
The Corridor of Fame tight finish turned sports activities media determine—as soon as the co-host of Undisputed with Skip Bayless and, till not too long ago, a distinguished voice on ESPN’s First Take—is now dealing with a $50 million lawsuit from a 19-year-old lady who alleges sexual assault and battery. In response to the allegations, Sharpe has briefly stepped away from his ESPN function. And whereas the authorized case unfolds, there’s a deeper, extra uncomfortable dialog we have to have. As a result of what’s “authorized” isn’t at all times ethical. And what we permit says every little thing about what—and who—we’re keen to guard.
First, the information. The civil swimsuit alleges that Sharpe engaged in coercive, degrading habits with a younger lady lower than half his age. Not solely does the lawsuit embody allegations of sexual assault, however it additionally reveals deeply inappropriate, racially charged exchanges between Sharpe and the younger lady. Based on textual content messages launched, she made feedback about eager to have his “Black infants,” a disturbing instance of race play and fetishization. And but, he nonetheless engaged. As an alternative of shutting it down or stepping away, he selected to lean in. That alone ought to’ve been a flag — not only for him, however for everybody round him. As a result of when race is fetishized in sexual dynamics, particularly throughout important age and energy gaps, the hurt isn’t simply private—it’s political.
Some on social media have rushed to defend Sharpe by emphasizing that the younger lady is of authorized age. But when the one justification for a 54-year-old man’s habits is that it doesn’t violate the legislation, then the ethical basis of that protection is already collapsing underneath its personal weight.
This isn’t a authorized debate. It’s an ethical one. It’s about energy. It’s about manipulation. And it’s in regards to the methods we excuse predatory habits so long as the person is wealthy, well-known, or charming sufficient to distract us.
A 19-year-old could also be legally an grownup, however she is barely out of highschool. She remains to be shaping her identification, studying boundaries, and determining her price in a world that consistently devalues girls and ladies. The science backs this up: the human mind, notably the prefrontal cortex that governs decision-making and impulse management, doesn’t totally develop till round age 25. However even when it did, that also wouldn’t make this okay.
Shannon Sharpe has grownup daughters of their 30s. Take into consideration that. After which ask: if a 54-year-old man pursued one in all his daughters when she was 19, would he be tremendous with it? Would you?
It’s straightforward to cheer Sharpe on for “bagging” somebody three a long time youthful when it’s not your daughter, sister, cousin, or niece. But it surely’s additionally wildly hypocritical. A number of the identical males defending this are the identical ones who’d burn the world down if their very own daughter got here residence speaking a couple of man in his 50s or 40s or 30s or courting in any respect. Let’s cease pretending we don’t see the double customary.
These are additionally the identical males who degrade girls for having OnlyFans—an internet subscription platform that permits folks to share grownup content material immediately with paying subscribers—however will flip round and spend hire cash at strip golf equipment or slide into DMs begging for consideration. The identical males who choose her for a way she makes a dwelling are those fueling the demand.
This isn’t nearly Shannon Sharpe. That is about what number of males like him exist in our communities. In our circles. At our church buildings. In our group chats. Males who abuse energy dynamics and get celebrated for it. Males who use wealth, age, or standing to coerce affection, then cover behind authorized definitions of consent when the hurt turns into public.
It’s additionally vital to deal with a frequent deflection: the declare that Black folks don’t maintain white males to the identical customary in instances like this. That assertion is just not correct. The #MeToo motion itself was sparked by public allegations in opposition to Harvey Weinstein, a white man who was finally convicted after a long time of reported sexual violence. Leonardo DiCaprio has confronted sustained public criticism for his sample of courting girls considerably youthful than him, all underneath the age of 25. Russell Model is at present underneath investigation following a number of allegations of sexual misconduct. In different phrases, white males have been, and proceed to be, publicly scrutinized and held accountable for comparable habits by Black folks even when not by case legislation..
The difficulty isn’t that Black males are unfairly criticized—it’s that too many people are uncomfortable holding Black males accountable after they trigger hurt. And that’s what makes it simpler for folk like Invoice Cosby, R. Kelly, Russell Simmons, and others to get away with sexual violence for many years. It’s not that nobody knew. It’s that too many individuals refused to imagine—or just didn’t care.
Take into account the general public response to the current scenario involving Draya Michele, a 39-year-old lady, and Jalen Inexperienced, a 23-year-old NBA participant, after information emerged that she was pregnant. The response was swift: social media was flooded with commentary questioning the age hole, and plenty of raised issues about grooming and energy dynamics. Individuals requested—rightfully—how the response would possibly differ if the roles had been reversed. And that’s exactly the purpose: important age and energy disparities ought to increase issues, no matter gender. When a person with much more life expertise, affect, and entry engages with somebody simply getting into maturity, it warrants scrutiny. So why is it reframed as an achievement or “relationship objectives” when the older celebration is a person?
We’ve got to assume extra critically about what we condone underneath the banner of maturity. Simply because somebody is legally allowed to consent doesn’t imply they’re in an equal place to take action. Energy imbalances matter. Age gaps matter. Intentions matter — particularly when the older individual holds extra social, monetary, and emotional leverage.
And I actually hope individuals are paying consideration—not simply to what’s being stated in headlines or Threads, however in their very own lives. I hope they’re listening to what’s being stated in barbershops, at brunch tables, on FaceTime calls. As a result of the protection of predatory habits doesn’t simply occur out loud; it occurs in silence too.
Predators don’t thrive as a result of they’re geniuses. They thrive as a result of folks shield them. They get away with it as a result of we glance away. As a result of we keep quiet. As a result of we inform ourselves it’s not that dangerous. Till it’s.
So no, this isn’t nearly Shannon Sharpe. It’s a couple of tradition that has made it far too straightforward for males to take advantage of youthful girls and name it sport. It’s a couple of tradition that refuses to acknowledge hurt until it ends in prison conviction. And it’s about whether or not we’re keen to maintain letting “authorized” be the ground when “moral” ought to be the usual.
Discomfort within the face of those truths just isn’t solely anticipated—it’s vital. It ought to immediate reflection, accountability, and a deeper reckoning with the cultural norms we’ve lengthy accepted. As a result of if we fail to confront these patterns now, we are going to proceed to see them repeat. Totally different names, identical dynamics. And with each excuse we make, we ship a transparent message to survivors: that their ache is the price of our silence. It ought to by no means be.
It’s not. And it by no means ought to have been.
Preston Mitchum is the founding father of PDM Consulting, primarily based in Washington, DC. His work focuses on racial justice, gender fairness, LGBTQ+ liberation, and the pursuit of insurance policies that transfer past symbolism to create lasting change.
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