This dialog has been a very long time coming. We didn’t have it once we discovered what was happening with Invoice Cosby. The dialogue nonetheless didn’t occur when the information broke about R. Kelly. With Diddy’s each embarrassing — and maybe unlawful — transfer being laid out to the world in court docket…perhaps it’s time to speak about what our lack of self-control is getting us.
After all, it’s not simply Diddy: In April, we witnessed the close to implosion of Shannon Sharpe’s media profession due to an ill-advised relationship with an OnlyFans mannequin. Simply final week, Smokey Robinson was accused of sexual assault and now he’s beneath felony investigation. These are all males who (allegedly) allowed their sexual wishes to get out of hand. However this isn’t new.
Well-known Black males have a historical past of constructing dangerous decisions in relationships. There’s the 17-year-old that Marvin Gaye met and married. There’s that point Bobby Womack’s spouse shot at him as a result of he was having an affair along with his stepdaughter. And Chuck Berry…nicely…you simply google what that dude was into. My fingers are too holy to kind what he favored.
The widespread denominator…? These males lacked self-discipline. They seemingly let their sexual wishes run unchecked, and it both outright ruined their lives or their legacy suffered due to it. Let’s be clear: This isn’t kink shaming. In case you have consent and you aren’t breaking the regulation, Black males ought to be happy to do no matter they need within the bed room. Now, we don’t have to know what it’s (cease getting on the web and telling all your enterprise), however when you and your companion wish to spice issues up…advantageous. That’s not an issue.
The problem is that too many Black males cross the road.
If a lady says “no,” that must be the tip of it. If at any time when you’re being intimate she says cease, identical guidelines apply. And if you’re a 50 one thing NFL Corridor of Famer who’s attempting to jumpstart a media profession, perhaps don’t mess with a lady 30 years youthful than you…and when you should, no less than have her signal an NDA. This will get us to the guts of the matter.
Diddy and Sharpe lacked self-discipline. They both took issues too far or they acted earlier than considering. Black males, we have to be taught from what we’re seeing. ALL of us.
We should train knowledge in {our relationships}. Simply because we’ve got an impulse doesn’t imply we must always act on it. And we definitely mustn’t do something sexually with out getting consent.
There are too many indignant Black males strolling round performing on their aggression as a substitute of speaking to somebody who will assist them perceive why they’re upset. And much more brothers who let what’s between their legs overrule their thoughts.
Black males should do higher. Don’t simply bounce on social media and speak about harpe and Diddy, be taught from their errors.