As extra particulars emerge from Cassie Ventura’s testimony within the federal intercourse trafficking trial towards Sean “Diddy” Combs, many are discovering it onerous to fathom simply how and why she endured his alleged abuse for thus lengthy. However whereas social media “docs” chime in with their very own concepts, the consultants even have one thing to say about all of it.
As we’ve been reporting, Ventura and Diddy first received concerned almost 20 years in the past after she signed to Unhealthy Boy Information in 2006. Within the years that adopted, their dynamic turned from producer/artist to that of boyfriend/girlfriend—however took a flip for the worst when alleged “freak-offs” have been launched within the early years of their relationship.
In response to Ventura’s 2023 lawsuit and up to date court docket testimony, “freak-offs” have been occasions the place she was allegedly anticipated, coerced and compelled to carry out sexual acts with different males at Combs’ pleasure, as famous by The Root staffer Kalyn Womack. However over time, these freak-offs grew to become an increasing number of frequent and commenced to trigger points between Ventura and Diddy. These points allegedly escalated into bodily violence, constant beatings and assault, and even rape on a number of events, in accordance Ventura’s testimony.
But and nonetheless, she and the Unhealthy Boy producer didn’t formally break issues off till 2018. Seeing that because the case and after listening to further specifics about their case, people on social media—each Black women and men—are questioning why Ventura stayed with Combs so lengthy if issues have been actually so dangerous.
Nicely, in accordance Dr. La Keita D. Carter, PsyD, a Baltimore-based licensed psychologist and trauma specialist, she defined that the abusers manipulative methods and phrases; trauma bonds; and paralyzing worry are all key components that play a big half in why survivors select to remain once they shouldn’t.
“Abusers erode their sufferer’s self worth and self price. They create conditions the place the sufferer is solely reliant on them after which feed them the concept others have left them or don’t care about them,” she defined to The Root. “Over time, the sufferer begins to consider these concepts—concepts like they will’t go away or they don’t have a selection or the abuser’s conduct is proof of real love.”
Dr. Carter additionally went on to clarify how trauma bonds—a.ka. the cycle of abuse adopted by intense love and reconciliation in a poisonous relationship—usually makes the abused particular person “hooked” into an terrible merry-go-round. Consequently, it makes it tough to disrupt the sample as a result of the “reconciliation course of leaves the sufferer with hope that issues will change.”
Naturally after struggling a lot violence, worry can also be a significant a part of this dialog as Ventura herself defined a number of instances in her testimony that she usually complied with Diddy’s wishes in order that she or her family members wouldn’t must face alleged retaliation at his arms. On the subject of abuse survivors generally, that worry of one thing as dangerous because the ache they’re already enduring or worse is robust sufficient to maintain them stagnant and might discourage them from making an attempt to get out of the state of affairs.
“As much as 75% of home violence-related homicides occur after the sufferer leaves or makes an attempt to go away, in keeping with the CDC,” Dr. Carter defined. “Survivors of abuse are most vulnerable to severe damage or loss of life within the first few weeks to months after leaving. That is why security planning is so crucial. Telling somebody to ‘simply go away’ might be lethal recommendation.”
And let’s be clear: Ventura did attempt to escape as all of us noticed from the viral elevator foyer footage from 2016. However as Dr. Carter put it, making an attempt to get out safely and along with your life in tact can show to be a a lot taller job than it seems on the floor. So it could behoove lots of people to have a bit extra grace and understanding in relation to issues of this nature.